Happy days are here again. Dementia Joe Biden announced the other day that we have whipped inflation now.
Had you noticed that inflation was over? I missed it. Every week, I ask listeners on my radio show to fill in me on the latest inflation, shrinkflation and shortages that they’ve encountered recently.
I guess that segment is over after Brandon’s big announcement Wednesday.
“I just want to say a number,” he babbled. “Zero. Today we received news that our economy had zero percent inflation in the month of July. Zero percent.”
Zero! In June, the consumer price index was up 9.1% year to year, but last month it only jumped 8.5%, year over year. But the price of gasoline went down, so in Joe’s grasping-at-straws regime that’s all that matters.
Pay no attention to the fact that food costs are still skyrocketing — just remember these two words: “zero percent.”
My listeners would beg to differ with that rosy assessment. Unlike Brandon, they live in the real world, not the memory wing of the assisted-living facility that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has become.
Let’s go right to the texters and the listeners:
From 978: “Just opened electric bill — $165 last month, $248 today. Even counting extra AC isn’t enough. We were away for a week in July so no AC.”
From 401: “Large container of All Laundry Detergent Pods at BJ’s, last yr. $13.99, this year $23.99. Thanks Brandon!”
From 617: “Can’t get any fishing lines. I went to 3 stores for some. There were only 2 packs between all of them, and they cost $20 per pack. It used to be $10.”
From 781: “People are cleaning out dollar stores, can’t get cheap deodorants, laundry liquid esp. Alternatives cost 4-5 times as much.”
If inflation is over, where are all the stories about flat prices? Is it possible that the president is using what George W. Bush used to call “fuzzy math?”
A Wall Street Journal story yesterday said it appears that Social Security checks will be going up 9.6% next year — “on track to be the highest since 1981, when Social Security benefits rose 11.2% to keep pace with inflation.”
I’m sure Brandon will be out taking another bow when the official Social Security COLA increase is announced. A 10% increase when inflation is … zero! Let the good times roll.
Every week I check in with one of the shrinkflation threads on Reddit. One way you can always spot a size-cut at the supermarket is when they change the packaging, like Snyder’s of Hanover Pretzel Pieces recently did. From 12 oz. to 11.25 — is that what you call “New and Improved?” Or is it now a “Fun Pak?”
In Trump times, Dove soap bars were four ounces. Brandon was installed as president and the size was reduced to 3.75 ounces. Now it’s down to 3.17 ounces.
Back to the text line:
From 401: “Kerry Gold butter, used to $7.99 for 17.5 oz. Today $9.49.”
From 508: “My favorite Trader Joe’s nut mix is like 50% dried cranberries now. Must be cheaper.”
Steve: “Cherries are $6 a pound, usually $1.50-$2 this time of year.”
Joey: “Have you checked out the frozen-food aisle, especially potatoes? No Tater Tots, no sweet potato fries, no crinkle cuts, no nothing.”
From 978: “I buy frozen fruit to put in my salad at work. A bag of frozen raspberries was $4.99 to $5.99 before Brandon took control. I just went to Market Basket & they were $9.99.”
From 617: “A half-gallon of my favorite OJ is now 52 oz., and it’s gone from $3.69 to $3.99.”
Charlie in 480 area code: “A dozen donuts at BoSa Donuts in Phoenix cost $19.54 yesterday.”
From 617: “I live in Revere. The drugstores don’t have disposable razors out on open shelves anymore. I asked why. ‘They just get stolen.’”
Tom in West Virginia: “I’ve gone from a 42-inch waistline to 40 inches. I can’t afford $5 a loaf for dark Pumpernickel bread at Walmart. I can’t afford Bud Light at $10 a six pack.”
Douglas in Augusta: “I can’t find any teriyaki-flavored Slim Jims.”
Baxter: “When I go to Market Basket, it seems like everything that used to be $3.99 is $6.99, and everything that was $6.99 is $10.99.”
From 508: “I bought one jug of special oil for my snowmobile. Under Trump $45. Under Biden $67. Thanks, Brandon.”
Last week the Senate passed another Democrat pork-and-welfare handout to the non-working classes that the hacks absurdly called the Inflation Reduction Act, because it does exactly the opposite.
But now that inflation is zero, as Biden tells us, why do we need to print still more worthless currency? Do we really need to spend another $80 billion on the IRS, not to mention a half-trillion or so for billionaire Democrat bundlers and Red Chinese oligarchs who use slave labor to build all those wonderful solar panels and windmills that don’t work and those rare-mineral batteries for EV’s that randomly explode in bus yards and garages.
You’d think Democrats could just shelve this latest boondoggle now that inflation was indeed “transitory” and everything is under control. But no, Brandon said zero% inflation is not enough.
“We need to pass the Inflation Reduction Act right away,” he said. “That’s the most consequential thing that Congress can do to keep our progress from uh on inflation from uh uh from getting better from getting worse to keep it mo-mo-moving in the right direction.”
Can we quote you on that, Mr. President?